We Have A Tree

It was too easy to call this piece A Tree Grows in Harlem

Remington Write
5 min readMay 11


Our new birch tree / Photo Credit — Remington Write

It’s a great mystery to me why anyone works so hard to become mayor of this city because all eight million of us hate on the winner of every election with great exuberance and commitment. I got here just as Giuliani was making his exit which he enjoyed prolonging courtesy of Nine Eleven (America’s Mayor anyone?).

As a shiny-faced newly arrived Ohioan I was ready to jump on the Giuliani-is-an-Asshat bus. He’s spent the last twenty years proving that abundantly.

Then came Mayor Moneybags, aka Michael Bloomberg, who snorted at the thought of living in Gracie Mansion. That man sure did enjoy being hated by a certain segment of the population but to his credit he didn’t raise any ridiculous fusses over controversial art. The addition of 400 miles of bike lanes to the city didn’t endear him to the car set but here in The City we blew raspberries at those whiners.

Miles of bike lanes, numerous new pedestrian plazas and generous support for the arts couldn’t completely insulate Mayor Moneybags from the hatred of his constituents. He’s loaded so it stands to reason that he’s a slimeball.

I’m as offended by enormous wealth as any good socialist, but then the SOB started planting trees. Not just a couple hundred thousand trees. A Million Trees. Did he succeed? Who TF knows? It’s not like anyone’s out on the streets counting trees although I guess there is an annual squirrel census that happens in Central Park so I could be wrong.

The day did come, however, when our modest block-long street in Harlem got its trees. And by then Mayor Moneybags finally went back to making money and we had entered the de Blasio era.

And, yes, de Blasio was the newest most hated mayor in the history of the city by the time we got our trees, but there they were. And they truly did change the character of the street if not exactly changing the characters hanging out on the street. Still it was nice having trees.