Member-only story
Personal Evolution
What’s So Funny?
That was my best bit. I’m dying up here. Look at those faces, like a fucking wall of corroded steel. How can they not be laughing? Why has time stopped?
I breathe. I don’t say it (laugh, you idiots, that’s funny!). For some mysterious reason, I suddenly think about Phillip Petit and put one foot out on the wire. The wire to the promised land where I sprout wings and own this room.
See, dummy? See what we all tried to tell you? You’re NOT funny. Email Pitkins in HR first thing tomorrow. Maybe it’s not too late to get your job back.
What do they know anyway? My position was filled ten minutes after I walked out the door. The only way to go now is forward. Out onto the wire. No net. No safety. No one to catch me if I fall. I won’t fall. That’s all. The wind catches the wire and I see those dollies from the bachelorette party, half smashed and eager to see me fall, slurping down another round. I steady myself and open my mouth.
Baby, why are you doing this to yourself? It’s like torture watching you up there. I can’t come tonight. No. I won’t. I can’t stand watching you make an ass of yourself like this.
Slow down. Enunciate. Be easy. I know this bit like I know the Hail Mary. This fucker is full of grace. It’s up to me, out here on the wire, to ease it on out…
